her first year

my darling hadley,

as I rocked you to sleep tonight less than a week before your first birthday, I couldn’t contain the tears. and again, the small lump in my throat that forms as I put this experience into words. your life has brought me the greatest joy. your sweet, perfect face resting on my shoulder while you babble on about your day through your pacifier. tonight, just like almost every night when I rock you to sleep, that tiny hand that refuses to hold your bottle plays with my necklace. I don’t mind at all, I don’t mind you playing with it, pulling yourself up on it, or trying to eat it. and I look forward to our snuggles, the milky, slobbery kisses that I get only when we are alone rocking in that chair in your room. those kisses are everything.

even though my thoughts are scattered and I’ll probably sob through this entire thing (who knew I’d be such a sap), I love you doesn’t seem like the right words, it’s more than love, how do you explain something I never knew existed until I saw you for the first time? I love you more every day. Sometimes I stare at you and wonder how can I possibly love anyone or anything more than I love her right this moment. And then tomorrow comes and my love for you is even deeper.

this life-changing trip around the sun has made me love our Jesus more. it has brought me to my knees more times than I can count, praising Him for the gift of your life.

how I would love for you to stay little forever, to yell ma and babble on and giggle when I say ouchie, but oh how I can’t wait to see how you grow. to see the girl you grow up to be.

I pray every day that I can be a good shepherd to you, that you can show me how to love our Father more, that your life will be pleasing to Him and that you, my darling baby girl, that you will be on fire for Jesus.

I hope that you’ll experience this feeling, because having a huge piece of my heart crawling around the floor of our home and touching everything in reach is life altering. I don’t know how to say it any other way. This has been the best year of my life (by far one of the hardest, but so worth it).

you’re so silly. I can’t help to think that came from me! it makes me laugh when you make funny faces and learn new sounds that you can make. that you giggle (oh that laugh makes my heart sing) when I pretend to eat your pacifier and that belly laugh that I get to hear when I tickle under your chin. how blessed am I that I can be here with you, that I can watch you grow and learn, take care of you when you feel bad and make you laugh.

His plan is far better than mine.

You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are kind. You can do anything. You are His.

i love you kid.

– mom



ten months in three days

so…. in 3 days I will have a 10 month old. wait for it… let it process..

10 months ago I was wondering when my little girl was going to make her appearance into this world. she was a day late, I was overly anxious and brett was to be back at work in a day or so. I cannot believe that 10 months have gone by, I cannot believe I am telling my child, repeatedly to not lick the floor, to get things out of her mouth, to stop throwing her cheerios on the floor for the dog to eat and to not lick the trash can. she is a crawling, climbing, eating adult food machine. she is the light of our lives and she has brought such joy to my family’s life. the chatter, the babbling, the mocking, it is my favorite part so far!

I wish that it would all slow down, I wish that she could stay this little forever. she wont, which is okay too, because I am elated to see her grow, to enjoy the time with her as she develops, but gosh, does it have to fly by?

what a learning process this whole parenting thing has been. I feel like I still have so much to learn, but I feel like I have climbed mount Everest and survived. ha, who compares parenting to climbing the highest mountain in the world… the highest thing I have ever climbed was a fairly tall rock outside of Austin.




Peas & Mint

My baby girl loves her some peas… Not quite sure where she got that from – they taste like dirt…¬† I am glad that she likes food and that she is learning to open her mouth when I go to feed her! I cannot believe how fast she is growing… ūüė¶ She wll be 16 weeks on Tuesday and I think I am going to cry….


Sweet girl has picked up when I do a little sqeal while playing with her and its her favorite thing to do when she see’s mommy!¬† I love it, it’s like a secret little language – and¬†I get it!¬†

On another note, husband has a work conference this weekend, that we are going to and my parents have so bravely offered to watch her for the weekend so that we can have some time to ourselves….. Eeek.. I am nervous about leaving her for more than one night, but on the other hand, I can finally get a pedicure… It has been 4 1/2 months and my feet are in dire need of one.¬† Oh and have some alone time with husband not talking about bottles and feeding and what brand of highchair we should be purchasing… Segue into the next topic, who would have ever thought that searching for a high chair would be so difficult…. My goodness, I think I have read every consumer review on every highchair ever made – and still have no idea what is going¬† work best for us…¬†

Sometimes I think that my brain has gone into shuffle mode.¬† I can’t seem to stay on one topic for more than a few minutes, and my stories have gotten so long lately, that I forget what my point was in the first place.¬†

My cabinets need to be wiped down, I need to fill up the car with gas, why does mosquito hawks always come wayyy before the mosquitos get here, and the one flying around in my kitchen that I can’t seem to catch has some lint stuck to its leg, pita chips and hummus are my favorite snack, I need to change the load of clothes, husband birthday is coming up and his present isn’t ready yet, when will the photographer be done editing Hadley’s pictures?……..¬† This is at any given moment. hahahahahaha

golly I am tired.



non cruncher – essential oil lover

I am by no means a “crunchy mom” – well I guess I am partially crunchy…. I do prefer organic over processed – food, not clothing, I will buy clothes simply for the bargain.¬† I do not use reusable diapers, changing a poopy diaper is gross enough, but having to scrape baby poop into the toilet and then having to wash said dirty diaper is not up my alley, I will stick to my cheap ones from Target.¬† And I do not think that all toys should be made of wood and be handmade, I like the talking dog from Fisher Price and so does my baby.¬† But….. I do believe in essential oils, I think that they have healing properties that modern¬†over the counter medicines cannot compare with.¬† Plus they are safe¬†(in moderation of course) to use on infants…..¬†

If you have read any of my other¬†blog posts,¬†my angel wouldn’t latch and my milk dried up and I had to¬†go to only formula…..¬†with that being said, I didn’t opt for organic formula, I went with tried and true Similac and for no other reason than that was what the doctor gave me when I found out I was pregnant and during desperation its the formula she first had.¬† Anywho, the reason I say that is because, she no longer gets breast milk and all of the awesomness that comes from breast milk and she has a cold…. poor angel, her runny nose and sneezes are the worst.¬† But for all of you mothers out there, the only thing that can be given to infants (that I know of) is suspension Tylenol…. So….. I don’t want to smear vicks on my baby’s chest who gets bumps on her skin when I was her clothes with mine and don’t use Dreft….. So I turn to all natural coconut oil and essential oils…¬† They don’t take the symptoms away, or make the cold go away, but that in addition to the nasakleen I use to suck the snot out, helps her breathe better.¬†

I think the whole idea of making my own baby food is awesome, and I have a bullet, but I am lazy and my house is a disaster and I think I could use my time better to clean instead of making baby food for her, so instead I buy ONLY organic baby food. 

So in some ways, I agree with you crunchy mothers out there, hey more power to the ones who can save a bundle with cloth diapers and homemade baby food and all natural toys and sustainable such and such…. you go ladies.¬† As for me and my kid, she will get mostly organic and be happy with it!



12 weeks on Tuesday?! Where has the time gone?

So far all of my posts have been about Hadley sleeping, well this will be like all the rest.

Hadley has slept (only once this long) for 9 1/2 hours…. What what?!¬†¬† Go baby girl, GO!!!!

She is absolutely perfect.¬† Even when she is screaming because I can’t get her bottle ready fast enough (its like a panic scream) she is perfect.¬† I am in love with my baby girl.¬† ūüôā


Today at church Pastor Ron Hindt spoke about the big D (and I don’t mean Dallas).¬† It was a refreshing sermon and once again it was like he was speaking directly to me.¬† Not that I want to divorce my husband or ever will, too bad he is stuck with me forever, but like a lot of couples, the word has been thrown around and its something that I know I am not alone in fearing for.¬† My husband comes from a broken home, and I knew it going in to the relationship that almost every single adult he looked up to growing up was either unfaithful in their marriage, got a divorce or both….¬† Its a sad reality that so many out there have gone through divorce.¬† Even when I thought my parents hated each other, even when my mom packed us an overnight bag and we went to a hotel to stay the night because their fighting was too much for us, they stuck it out, I admire them for it, yes, we are slightly off kilter and we yell at each other all the time, but they stayed together and we had a better life for it.¬† One parent NEVER pitted against the other, and even when they disagreed with their own issues – they always backed each other up when it came to us.¬† It has given me something to strive toward.¬† Working on my relationship and being the best wife and partner I can be.¬†¬† There is a reason God put us in each other’s life and I want to honor God’s will by making my relationship with my husband the best it can be.¬†

Anyway….. Pastor Ron made this analogy – If you only were to have one car for your entire life, never could get another one, how would you take care of it?¬† You would baby it, you would wash it and take care of it, you would get it fixed if it were to be wrecked, you would ensure that it ran as long as you lived.¬† That’s how you should treat your marriage.¬† This was a great analogy.



Haute Mommies & Bella Babies

She sleeps!

My baby girl for the past few nights has been sleeping more than 4 hours at a time.¬† What a relief.¬† I feel like God has done nothing but heard and answered my prayers about this parenting thing, and that for a small second I am sort of getting the hang of it.¬† Until she screams in a store or I literally have to walk out of a small, warm, overcrowded boutique because her gas is gagging me….¬† This happened today.¬† I was in the middle of pushing her oversized Britax stroller through this swanky maternity and children’s boutique when gas hit Hadley and I had to check her diaper… Thank goodness my mom was with me, I had to pull her out of her carrier and tote her around feeding her the bottle she spit out on the way, all while trying to navigate her stroller through said boutique..

What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger….¬† One of these days, I’ll stop “winging” it and pack my diaper bag with EVERYTHING I could possibly need if I wasn’t to return home for an entire day….. Or learn to pack my car with necessary things to update the diaper bag.¬† What I really need to do is get everything together and get organized, there is no reason not too…..

Hadley is getting so big…. I constantly am asking other mothers the age of their children who are close in size to Hadley…. They out age her by usually 6-8 months….. I have a big girl!¬† But there is just more to love.

On another note, I am itching to find my grandmothers old sewing machine so I can attempt to make things with the 5 1/2 yards of jersey knit fabric I bought to make my own “Moby” wrap… Just wasn’t the same, I blame pinterest….. I should have done more research and just spent an extra $10 and bought the real thing…. Now I am determined not to waste it and if I have to, we will have a ton of randomly made pillowcases for our pillows….

Off to search for tutorials of “Sewing for Beginners” on YouTube or look at organizing stuff I need from ThirtyOne…..